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Welcome
to the "Riding the Wave - The Wave Riders™ "
Newsletter. http://www.thewaveriders.com
Preparing
for change?
by Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Do not judge your future on
what you did yesterday or how you look today.
Initial motivation for change
may start from the pain of living a lifestyle that you do
not like or from the self-imposed distaste in what you see
today; but sustaining change comes from positive thought motivation
and not negative put downs. People normally do not get skinny
because they were called fat…they get skinny because someone
saw in them beauty just as they were. Entrepreneurs are not
often steadfast and successful without someone planting a
seed that they are worthy and capable. To sit with your face
in your hands and weep for what you have done in the past
will not necessarily give you the power to create a new life.
Standing in front of the mirror and seeing only the weight
you have gained will not in the long run help you to lose
weight. It may get you started, and that is great, but do
not stay too long in that type of negative focus or you may
just give up before you get started.
Every January, people jump on
the quick fix to solve problems that they see in their reflection
each day and many will try to change because other people
said they should.
Change is best served when
you are the server!
I have often read that to move
forward in change is to accept yourself as perfect, as you
are. As I read, I wondered how to understand that statement
when perfection is so often determined by perfect proportions
and airbrushed skin. Perfect we have been trained to understand
is; a brand new car, nice house with clean carpets and a professionally
manicured lawn - isn't it?
How do we accept ourselves as
perfect when we view our rusty old car, weed-ridden lawn and
windows that invite more winter in than they hold out? How
can we with wrinkles and fat, short or tall, curly hair or
bald, compare ourselves with that which we see as the "perfect
standard" in others?
First lets admit it. We don't
look great twisting our face in the mirror to see if that
under-the-skin blemish is really going to rise or stay painfully
apparent to us as soon as someone looks at us. That twisted
face, no make-up or unshaven is usually what we base our opinions
of our looks on. We often focus on what is "right" with other
people, "Wow, she has nice hair" and "I don't" or " His biceps
are bigger than mine" and "I can't get them that way". We
focus and compare what is wrong with us. Comparisons can bring
with them painful and negative self-judgment and do not very
often encourage acceptance. We cannot see how our face lights
up with a smile or how our eyes twinkle when we think of a
funny joke and yet often that is what others see in us…not
the twisted face that we see in the mirror.
Perfection, as I have come to
understand it is accepting that where you are today, rich
or poor, fat or thin, is exactly where you need to be to become
all that you can become in the future. Each chapter in our
life story leads to the next chapter and is often transitioned
with a painful experience. Many people look back on hardship
and say that they would not change it if they could. They
don't want to change it because without it they would not
be who they are today. Given the choice, at the moment, they
would not have chosen adversity, but nonetheless adversity
brought with it a gift they do not wish to return.
If we act from pain rather than
being stuck in the pain, it can act as a catalyst for change
- it creates deeply motivated and sustaining change energy.
Whether the catalyst was a bankruptcy, an injury or rejection
- walling does nothing; only action into the next chapter
creates the positive from the negative event. We rarely make
grow or make positive change when we are "comfortable",
though there really is no static state we are either deterioration
or improving. When we are comfortable we slouch deeper into
our current state.
In this, I believe, we find
the secret to real change in our lives.
Accept that what you see in
the mirror was necessary for you to come to the level of understanding
that you have reached today.
If what you see is that you
are fat…. Remember, you did not become fat today with the
food that you ate tomorrow- you gained the weight
you see with the food, which you ate yesterday.
That intake combined with the level of activity
that you engaged in, produced "a result". It
was the decisions that you made yesterday and all of the days
before that created what you see today. If you change these
decisions that lead to the current result to decisions that
balance food intake with activity - is it not true that given
normal circumstances that the body in the mirror must change?
If this is true then looking
at that body that you see today and judging yourself on the
current state is IRRELEVANT! If you make the change
then that body already will cease to exist as it is.
Make the same past decisions and the body will transform again
rarely staying at the status quo but either gaining or losing.
If what you see when you look
in the mirror today, is a man down on his luck, in poverty,
with messed up relationships and too tired to move forward,
then you will need to believe in the small steps that can
move you out of your current situation. Don't look up to stare
at the decisions you made from the past and instead look toward
your feet and begin to slowly move them, placing one in front
of the other-don't look up until you know it is safe to do
so. Don't waste time wallowing in regret - fix it.
The mark of
a great player is in his ability to come back. The
great champions have all come back from defeat.
Sam Snead
(American golfer)
To succeed in change we need:
- Positive Motivation (and
sometimes a negative catalyst)
- Motivation from ourselves
- Acceptance of who we are
today
What you see in front of you
are the results of decisions - nothing personal. You are not
a failure - you just made past decisions that created what
you see. Today, right now, you can choose to make different
decisions.
Here are a few hints to making
better decisions and creating lasting change in your life.
- For Wave Riders making
better decisions includes - not making decisions on
the "high wave". Adrenaline often pushes us to say YES when
really our true self would be happier with a NO decision.
Often our true self has to live with the crazy things the
"adrenaline- based-self" gets into. These decisions can
build a lack of trust in our ability to make good decisions
at all. Make decisions on the mid-wave and not during the
up or the down state.
- Make the change automatic.
Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Make it so that
you have to do it. For example, make the future a part-time
job that you must show up for. You might become a fitness
instructor to insure that you keep fitness in your life.
- Make the change small.
Don't freak out your brain. Allow some small progress and
then get adjusted to it and move forward. Too much, too
fast can freeze your motivation in fear. Walk ten steps
if that is all you have - but do it every day. 10 steps.
Get dressed, get out and walk those steps and come home
adding only bits as the first amount begins to be too little
for you. If you move for 10 minutes three times a day…that
is still 30 minutes of motion and motion equals greater
health and happy thoughts.
- Do not allow yourself
to get tired. If you feel tired, get some sleep. Take
a nap or a walk to refresh your energy. When we are tired
we often make bad decisions. Our brains seek the fastest
energy builder or mood-altering drug - it does not choose
the most sustaining energy builder - it chooses the fastest….it
chooses the one that will take the least resources to acquire.
For me this is sugar! A fast high with an equally fast rebounding
low. Breads and white flour products offer the same quick
high and explain why a loaf of raisin bread is often devoured
like a box of chocolates. It is not about discipline - it
is about preventing the opportunity. It takes more than
most of us have to fight our own brains when it decides
it needs sugar or breads to boost our energy. Our brain
does not care that a few minutes later you will deflate
and be looking for sugar again. Our brain does not see in
the mirror a few weeks from now…it only knows that it must
find the fastest route to what it believes is immediate
survival.
- Stumbling does not mean
it's over. If you fall into old habits…get over it.
If you go on a binge because you let yourself get tired
- don't keep going. If you are trying to change a work habit
and you find that you have once again overworked, then stop
beating yourself up and make new plans. Get back on track
and keep trying until you really make it. It took me three
attempts to finally quit smoking and hundreds of attempts
to lose weight when finally I made it part of my work schedule
and began to see real change. I actually had to adjust my
life so that I could lose weight. It had nothing to do with
food. I will still stumble but I will eventually get back
up again. It's only over when you decide that it is.
- Don't try to diet and
quit smoking and start exercising, all at the same time.
You can cut down but if you try to do both you may find
that it becomes more about the "denial of your happiness"
than it is about "creating a positive future". Don't go
crazy and continue to eat the entire box of chocolates or
cheesy popcorn every night or you will be asking for "a
repeat performance" of weight gain. Do what you can to choose
an apple over a chocolate bar but do not begin a restrictive
diet at the same time. It is the same advice for quitting
smoking. Do not try to quit smoking and go on a diet at
the same time. What will happen instead is a natural transition
to healthy eating. Once your body and mind start to enjoy
"feeing fit and healthy" then you hand will naturally begin
to reach for healthier food. I believe that trying to do
what your fitness trainer is saying and stopping it all
at once is setting you up for failure. It would take super-human
strength to do both - so if you have super-human motivation
go for it … if not then keep congratulating yourself for
the work that you do toward a better future no matter how
small that effort may be.
- Allow yourself at least
6 weeks for new changes to begin to feel like part of
you and that you don't have to force yourself to keep it
up. It may take months even years for it to really become
a part of who you are but there is some magic that starts
to happen around the 6 week mark. You begin to see little
muscles forming and some weight coming off and you become
"addicted" to the change - no longer having to struggle
to get to the gym. Now, you want to exercise each day.
What you start to do to improve
your life is done with for the purpose of creating something
really positive for your future. While you keep that
positive future in mind, remember not focus on the future
at the sacrifice of today. Don't say things like;" when
I pay down the credit card I will be happy" or "when
I lose 10 pounds I will feel better about myself". Appreciate
where you are today and don't get stuck staring at your current
self for so long that you cannot envision a different future.
Make a comittment to yourself that you will stick it out for
6 weeks. I hope that you
will be able to appreciate where you are today while enjoying
the pursuit of tomorrow.
Take care
Indigo
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author: The Wave Riders
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Respond to this article by emailing
Indigo E-mail info@thewaveriders.com
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(http://www.thewaveriders.com/order.html)
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