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Thoughts from Indigo
Except from The Comfort Zone: Mastering the Waves by Indigo Irwin Kennedy (Book not released at this time)

Growth comes to us disguised as discomfort, but often we choose to remain the same to save our pride and for fear of the unknown. Recently, a student in a digital photography class I was teaching, taught me a wonderful lesson. She was new to computers and struggled through the lesson, often asking basic computer questions that were uncomfortable for her to ask. She knew that others in the room had more computer experience and knowledge and that she might be slowly them down.

I have seen students before in the same position in many computer/technology classes and though instructors try to make them feel comfortable, often they are very hard on themselves ending up frustrated and sometimes angry. But, not this student! She arrived each evening to the class on time, loaded up the computer and continued to ask questions. At the end of the course she apologized to me for having to ask basic questions. I felt compelled to tell her that I found her determination and attitude admirable and she shared with me her thought. "I knew I was asking basic questions and I did feel uncomfortable asking them. We have equipment at home that I cannot use. I am determined to learn. I decided that I would not allow other people's opinion of me stand between me and my end goal."

Okay, I have heard this before "keep your eye on the goal", but rarely do I get to see it put into action so well.

The very next day, I found myself in a position where I had to push beyond my comfort zone. I decided that the only way to make a permanent fitness change, in my life, was to take my 50 lb overweight body and learn to teach fitness. I started reading the theory portion, nerves and muscles and bones and I thought I had a year to get into shape before putting it into practice. Instead of one year I was given one week when I was offered a part-time job teaching aqua aerobics. I would have to do it with my 50 lbs still on!

The theory portion in the beginning, was uncomfortable with 10 young girls who were all fit and trim but we made friends and it became easier. I passed the theory test....and now I had to go to a pool in a larger city close to ours, on a busy Saturday/Sunday and stand with a group of fitness fanatics in OUR BATHING SUITS...remember that 50 lbs...oh, yeah...then there is the age thing. I knew I was at least 1/4 of a century older than the other instructors in training beside me.

I was tense. This was my weak spot. I like to cover up and now not only was I going to reveal it all, but I was going to bounce it to music at the end of the pool, to the cities crowds of parents with their kids. I heard the judgment "what is she doing up there", "who does she think she is kidding". It wasn't coming from the crowd..it was coming from my mind. I was driving myself to a point of useless nervousness. I said to the instructor..."I feel like everyone is looking at me" she said...isn't that the point of an aqua aerobics instructor?" I felt my stomach twist in nausea and was sure I could not take anymore, when I heard my students voice again, "I am determined to learn. I decided that I would not allow other people's opinion of myself stand between me and my end goal". I began to observe myself from the outside looking in and realized the torment was coming from me and it was not adding anything to the process. I decided to stop the thought "I am nervous" and change these thoughts to "it doesn't matter". Stopping the nervous chatter helped me ti achieve my goal. I am happy to report that I had a great time, and have already taught my first few portions of an official aqua aerobics class..and loved it.

No more excuses. I cannot say I am too old or too heavy to be a fitness instructor....because I am one.

The most fun was getting beyond that comfort zone to a place where I was no longer being held a prisoner of my pride and now even more new and scary doors are opening.

I hope that this year you will take a risk that you know is not dangerous but that you know pushes you beyond your perceived boundaries. Let's let go of the pride and experience life instead.
Happy New Year.

Indigo