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Welcome
to the "Riding the Wave - The Wave Riders™ "
Newsletter. http://www.thewaveriders.com
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"A
Christmas Gift "©
Self-efficacy - It's all about YOU!
by Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Based on Theories from the Book - The Wave Riders ®
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Within every man, woman and
child we can find unlimited potential to overcome any obstacle
and within each individual we find the ability to improve
the lives we lead and to excel at a chosen and naturally gifted
task.
At this time of economic uncertainty
remember that we have been here before and we will rise again
- just don't forget to rise.
There are two lines in the song
"In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride
As I listen to these lines, and sing along, it brings tears
to my eyes and some inner strength bubbles up as I sing it
out loud into the Heavens.
"I realize what life
is all about - It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
- It's giving more when you feel like giving up"
I know that many of us, right
now, are feeling like "giving up" that our hearts
have had enough.
How many times have I said,
"God, I know that challenge develops character, but I
am thinking that maybe I have enough character for now and
that all I really want for Christmas is time off for good
behavior".
Struggle seems to build onto
struggle; the world seems to attack at the same time; problems
appear on top or more problems until depleted we feel we cannot
go on. We hit bottom and sense that we have failed. We do
not believe that we can try again. We must remember that there
is no failure in hitting bottom and that there is only real
failure when we forget to get up again. Business people (most
men in particular) know this fact. If something does not work
in business, then simply brush themselves off and try something
else. They don't go getting all emotional about their failure
as the priority is to keep the business running.
What is the lesson? Review it,
learn from it and move on.
Cyclical patterns and "waves"
are everywhere. Waves are in our economic climate, our mental
energy, and in nature. If these cycles and up and down waves
surround us then it becomes logical that sometimes that means
we are not on the top of the cycle. The bottom is not necessarily
a bad thing; it is often simply potential energy rebuilding.
This can mean that when we hit
"emotional bottom" that we need to make the effort
to return to the mid-wave again by focusing on something positive,
taking a walk or having a shower. It may take more work if
we have lost our jobs; we may have to find the strength to
get up and learn something new.
"Hanging on when your heart
has had enough", "giving more when you feel like
giving up" - these words could mean so many different
things.
"Hanging on" might
be the Wave Rider who finds their thoughts once more delving
deeply into depression and wonders if they will ever be okay
again? The Wave Rider who with each passing year finds it
more difficult to grasp a reason to try again or to, one more
time, muster up the strength to climb up the ladder of hope.
Why do we feel shock and take
it personally when "the up times" cycle into the
"not so up times"? We act as if we are only supposed
to have good times, and we act as if "we never saw it
coming". Is it not a natural cycle? Does the fire not
come to burn out the old overgrowth? Do the cherry blossoms
not fall to make room for the fruit? Does the creator of fantastic
art not one day stand back and see its faults? Why does it
happen? Why does hardship come?
A simple answer might be that without hardship we do not move
forward. We do not clear out the old and we do not grow. We
might not know exactly why hardship happens but here are some
things that we know for sure
10 things that we know for
sure…
- Focusing on depression,
poverty, anger will not make depression go away and in fact
it will make depression, poverty and anger grow - so why
do it?
- Everything has its own cycle
as do "the good times" and "the bad times"
this down time will cycle up again. Holding back too much
can lead to an extended down cycle.
- Poor or "unloved"
does not equal SAD. Though we have been programmed to react
to "bad situations" in sadness - we don't have
to! We naturally react by releasing "sad thoughts"
but we do not have to feel sad. You could laugh through
eviction if you wanted to…many might think you are
crazy but it is a fact. You do not HAVE TO FEEL SAD when
bad things happen. Your sad feelings will not change what
is, in fact they will only slow down the energy necessary
for change.
- Attacking yourself will
not help you be more loved, or more beautiful, nor will
it get you more money. Only by emotionally supporting yourself
will be able to achieve you what you want. You have to believe
in yourself if you ever want to step outside to "embrace
the world" again.
- If you have children, what
they children really want for Christmas is you. They may
be asking for things they see their friends playing with,
or they see on TV, but ask any child to chose between that
toy and you being here happy and healthy, and you know they
are going to choose you. STOP burning yourself out and depressing
yourself out because you cannot give your child some toy.
Give them a great big hug and know in your heart that you
are the best gift that they could ever receive. They might
not understand fully now, but in the long run you are giving
them the best gift, you ever could, and one day they will
know it.
- Instead of giving into your
child's materialistic nature, why not teach your children
what you have learned. Teach your children that happiness
will not be found in having all that they wish for but will
be found within their hearts. For some reason, in this generation
raising children means never having them cry. We try to
protect them by giving them everything at the cost of sometimes
losing a parent to the struggle. Struggle is often the foundation
that excels us forward to do better things. It does not
hurt us to be denied a gift.
- Children know what is going
on with the world. If your television, radio or computer
is on then it is likely that your children have heard about
the millions unemployed and about "adults being scared".
It is important to keep children informed with just what
they need to know. Too much of the news being left on with
your children in the room may lead them to believe that
the end of the world has arrived. Give the gift of optimism
in the face of crisis. Teach your children to "look
out your window" to see that there are still people
doing good for others, there is still innovative ideas that
will drive us forward and there is still good in the world.
Let your children know that this is a natural cycle and
that we will rise again!
- With hindsight we can often
see that within every hardship we endure that we are also
learn or move forward. We are gifted knowledge that pushes
us forward; we become a better person, we receive a better
job or we move to a better living space. It is also true
that when we are in the middle of the hardship that we cannot
see the underlying gift that we are also about to receive.
If you can accept that there is a gift then you will rise
from the hardship faster. But if you are struggling to see
or believe in the gift, then assume that it is there and
have enough faith to keep moving forward. Excessive time
spent with your focus on the hardship will only slow the
recovery and growth process.
- Living in fear will not make
your life improve but finding faith in something will. You
might have faith in God, or you might not be able to find
that faith at the moment but find faith somewhere. Do you
have faith in yourself that you can pull yourself up? Do
you have faith that time will heal? Find your faith, because
without some form of faith, we will often stand in fear,
paralyzed and unable to take the necessary steps for positive
change. Fearing that you might fail will never "change
your stars".
- Depression is a selfish
thing. Sounds harsh, but truly depression is a self-focused
"what about me" attitude. Depression can make
us focus so much on how we feel that we do not open our
eyes to see that there are others around us worse off that
could use our help. Maybe it is our own children that could
use our love and laughter instead of a depressed parent
who closes the door to the world. Or maybe it is the person
who is to cold from living on the streets to even feel depression
that could use your attention. When things are bad for you
and your focus is turned inward, find, someone to help and
that action will immediately begin to ease your pain. It
is the gift that always doubles in it's path back to you.
If you look around you will
see tough times, but if you look a little beyond the immediate
news, what will you find?
Here is what I found today…
- I found accomplishment in
tackling the stack of dirty dishes that seemed insurmountable
before.
- I found opportunity when
the empty shelves allowed me the chance to wipe them clean.
- I found love when I stopped
to allow myself the opportunity to ponder - a gift - and
something I love to do.
- I found self-value when I
remembered that I do not have to see my value based on the
level of my bank account.
- I found hope that January
brings a whole new year - a great time to plant my new ideas.
- I found friendship by helping
a friend, sharing a laugh and giving a hug.
- I found sustenance by filling
my heart with appreciation for what I already have whether
it is ragged and torn or brand new.
- I found optimism with the
knowledge that I have the ability to improve no matter what
I see in the mirror today.
- I found curiosity in the
new doors that opened where old ones had closed.
- I found renewal in the wind
that blew against me on my walk.
- I found an abundance of help,
when I remembered to stop and ask for it.
- I found light and sunshine
when I turned my head away from the darkness.
- I found advancement when
I started to take the first step toward improvement.
- I found pleasure in writing
this for you today.
If you find yourself trapped
and focused on the down turn of finances, your absent love
life, or your weight gain - turn your head toward that which
is positive in front of you - whatever you can find, no matter
how insignificant it might appear!
Yes, I know how hard it is sometimes,
but do it anyway! Find the positive and hold on - see what
you can find!
Shut off the news! Get rid of
the sad songs and remember that depression is not your friend.
If you look back you can see that your negative thoughts have
never really helped anything in your life. They are completely
a waste of your time and energy.
Change your mind. Change your
room. Change your view. Your life might just change for the
better faster than you ever thought possible!
When you unwrap the Christmas
Gift within this newsletter, I hope that you will find the
gift in the knowledge that it is not the "thing"
that causes you to feel sad and overwhelmed. It is not the
sad songs that bring tears to our eyes. It is not the lack
of money or the lack of love - it is ONLY YOU that can make
you feel in any given way.
It is how you are viewing the
events and reacting to those events (in a perhaps pre-programmed
way) that is triggering your emotions of happy or sad. Instead
of automatically going into "pout" mode, realize
you're broke and send out a hearty belly laugh - see which
emotion will change the event faster.
Realize that you are fat and
smile because you love yourself anyway and celebrate that
yours is an abundant life.
Realize that you are alone and
take delight in singing out loud while running around naked
in your home, decorating for Christmas any way you want to.
Realize that you are "without"
and find something to give away anyway.
Stop reacting in pain and sorrow
and stop letting fear take over.
Instead, today, acknowledge
your great strength.
Remember that you made
it through tough times before.
Today, feel different in struggle - what if today you smiled?
Remember:
You do not have to become a grumpy old fart just because you
see yourself getting old.
You do not have to go to the landlord with your head down
because you cannot pay your rent.
You do not have to think yourself as less deserving than others
because you are fat.
You do not have to think there is no future simply because
you had no past.
You do not have to think that you cannot make it right simply
because you were wrong before.
Make yourself someone that handles
events both good and bad in faith and knowledge that somehow
all will be overcome. Find your "self-efficacy".
Make yourself someone whose
tears flow at the thrill of knowing that you have enough joy
and goodwill to pass around to others because you are NOT
"ready to give up" and your "heart has not
had enough". Declare today that your heart is open and
ready to love and trust and feel again.
ONLY YOU can trigger the emotions
of sadness and pain and ONLY YOU can decide how you will feel
today. Only you can have enough self-efficacy; enough faith
in yourself, to get you through whatever challenge comes your
way.
Change your mind and you will change your world.
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Feliz Navidad
Happy Holidays
Happy Time of Renewal
Happy Celebration of the New Year
Mele Kalikimaka
Joyeux Noel
And to all a good night!
Indigo
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author: The Wave Riders
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Order the Book at http://www.thewaveriders.com/order.html
Look for more articles
coming in The Wave Riders newsletters.
Indigo
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Respond to this article by emailing
Indigo E-mail info@thewaveriders.com
Click
here to order The Wave Riders Book
(http://www.thewaveriders.com/order.html)
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