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Welcome
to the "Riding the Wave - The Wave Riders™ "
Newsletter. http://www.thewaveriders.com
Declaring
Personal Value
by Indigo Irwin Kennedy
I recently thought again of
a paragraph that I wrote in The Wave Riders book where I discussed
a realization that I had years ago, while listening to a gardening
show on the radio. At
the time, I was coming to the end of a very rough ten-year
period where it felt as though "life" had won. The struggles
had beaten me down and my prayers became all about defeat.
I would pray, "God, please, I cannot take anymore. I am tired
and I am weak -please help me!."
When I prayed it seemed instead
receiving help that lifted me up that I was instead receiving
"the appearance of help" that tore me down further. I was
at the bottom, about to lose my home and I did not have enough
money for school supplies and healthy food…and I prayed. In
the midst of this financial stress at the very end of what
I thought was my ability to survive, the illusion of help
appeared. A fellow and his girlfriend came into my life as
"helper angels" until they took my vehicle on a
joy ride, leaving it at the side of the road with a dead engine
and then removed the last of my money when as they removed
my wallet from my house.
I thought why do poor people
steal from poor people. Was their not some sort of code that
said that was just going too far? I cried. I sat on that floor
and I thought why me? What did I do wrong to deserve such
bad treatment? Why would "bad things" not stop coming?
The radio I had turned on earlier
became just a dull and drone noise in the background. I felt
hopeless. The two men on the radio were discussing indoor
plants and I was not really listening to what they were saying,
when my ears and attention perked up. I heard the garden specialist
say, "as soon as the soil gets dry - the bugs come to tear
it down".
The plant in the weakened state
becomes vulnerable to total destruction. It was as though
I was that dry plant in a weakened state and the more I declared
my weakness the more "the bugs seemed come".
I realized that for ten long
years that I had been declaring my lack of worth to the world
and in what appeared to be "universal order", the "bugs had
come to eat away at what was left of the carcass". I wondered,
how did these bugs know to come? Did they lie dormant waiting
for the state of weakness?
Could it be that our "tests" were in fact our "bugs"? How
many times have you heard people say, I am tired and so weak
and yet stuff keeps happening?
I knew at that moment if I
continued to feel sorry for myself and if I continued to believe
that I was weak and unable or unworthy of good things in life…that
I was setting the stage for my own environment of vulnerability.
I pulled myself up off the
floor. I wiped dry the eyes that were baggy and tired from
the years of struggle and I stood and declared myself worthy.
I declared that I, penniless and facing bankruptcy, overweight
and single, tired and worn down was worthy, just as I was.
I was worthy, without riches or accomplishments, without being
good or bad, happy or sad, just for standing on that spot
here on earth, I was worthy. I was worthy of just being who
I was, just because, "I was"!
Though at the time I could not see the wisdom in having been
created, I could trust that God had the wisdom to know why
this body and this mind needed to be here. Even if I could
not see the value at the time, I would trust that he knew
what he was doing.
Even in poverty and pain. I
had value. I was worthy of being - what an odd concept. I
always valued myself based on what I had in the bank or what
I had accomplished at work or school. Pay your bills and you
are a good person. Get good marks and you had value. I stood
"naked" before the world, without adornments or certificates
without a shiny vehicle or a home to cover my head, I stood
and I shouted my worth.
Before this day of realization,
I had prayed for someone else to take over my difficulties.
To "do my life for me"…. just take away the pain. Every time
I looked to hand over these tasks, it seemed that I created
a more difficult situation.
Two things really happened on
that day that changed my life.
First, I declared my worth and
secondly, I declared my ability to survive and to work through
whatever God wanted to throw at me.
For years in desperation I prayed
for help and still fought each day to survive, but on the
day that I declared that I was strong the help began to arrive.
On the day that I stopped letting depression be my response
to tough times, life began to happen.
On the day that I began to say
that:
"I could fight my own fight
but would be open to assistance"
"I would try first to do
it myself and then ask for help"
"I would only delegate that
which was smarter to hand over and would not delegate because
I did not believe in myself"
"I would experience my own
experience without wanting others to take away the tough
times"
"I would remember that I,
regardless of circumstance was strong and worthy"
On the day, that I stood up
for me - help began to arrive, the bugs went away and good
things and good people began to fill my life.
How are you declaring yourself
to the world?
Around the heart, past the mind
and into the soul.
Enjoy the journey
Indigo
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author: The Wave Riders
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Respond to this article by emailing
Indigo E-mail info@thewaveriders.com
Click
here to order The Wave Riders Book (http://www.thewaveriders.com/order.html)
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