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Welcome
to the "Riding the Wave - The Wave Riders™ "
Newsletter. http://www.thewaveriders.com
Answers
to recent Questions.
This month I thought it would
be good to share with you some questions I have been asked
and their answers. The questions are good illustrate the common
challenges that many of us face...even though we are sure
that we are alone in the battle to remain balanced.
Question
1
I've come to a place in my life
where I've either given up on working or accepted that not-working
is the best way for me to stay mentally healthy. Call it what
you want, sometimes I wonder if it's just me being lazy or
a crutch for not working. I experience panic attacks so bad
when I am at a job that they become disabling and most of
the time cause me to lose my jobs. I begin a pattern of calling
in because I'm afraid of being trapped at work and eventually
I've called in so much I can't bare the thought of showing
my face there again. I'm a great employee before the panic
attacks come on but from there, it's down hill.
I'm wondering if this is truely me being lazy or should I
just accept that this is part of who I am & not expect
myself to keep a job?
Answer
from Indigo
Here is my theory on what is
happening...remember I am not a doctor not therapist so I
can only give you my opinion.
Sometime before you had these panic attacks you went through
a period of ??? over achievement, over work, lack of sleep...etc
etc. during this time you may have been on a "high"
which you think is the good you...not really so (the good
you the really happy and steady and productive you is in the
middle).... anyway....you "burnt out" somehow and
because you did not recognize what the next step in burn out
is......the down wave ... the time to rebuild...no social
skills left because you have used up all of your "happy
social chemicals" when you burnt out.
You began to think that something was wrong with you.... you
could no longer "perform"....and so you panicked....the
more anxious you get about it the worse it gets.
Also read my free article on my website at http://www.thewaveriders.com/articles/pi0104hermit.html
Titled...Social anxiety - The Hermit on the Hill.
Most of us at one point or another have felt as you have.
My thoughts are that there are a few possibilities of what
is going on
1. You have previously... maybe for months or years have burned
out and now you will need to find a way to balance and rest
and slowly come back to middle.
2. You have a job that does not match your real self.
3. You have made decisions on your career or life "when
you are on the high/optimistic wave" and when you come
back to the middle.....whoops you didn't really want this
career.
In the book we learn when to make decisions that effect our
lives. When we learn to decide when we are mid-wave ... then
we make choices... that WOW ...we really like in our life...and
then POOF like magic you are not longer lazy - you no longer
feel the need to quit, to run....you simple get up each day
and enjoy.
You are not lazy. You are not damaged...you just might not
really know who you are.
Be good to yourself. Give yourself from TLC and don't schedule
meetings when you are burnt out. Try to breathe your higher
waves of optimism to the middle...not a boring place - a serene,
pleasurable place.
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author: The Wave Riders
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Question
2
My partner is a bipolar sufferer and has been on medication
for the past 3 years. He has admitted to losing the highs
(mania) which fuels his lateral creativity.He is constantly
flat mostly because the mediation has leveled his opposing
highs and lows. His doctors and psychiatrist have advised
against stopping the medication – epillium. In order
to regain his highs, he’s taken recreational drugs like
ecstasy.
What can you advise?
Answer
from Indigo
Reality is often in conflict
with what we should do isn't it.
In this case, your partner is obviously determined to get
the high back....ecstasy to replace the high is not going
to make this work.
Let me first remind you that I am not a doctor nor am I a
therapist. I do not recommend that people stop taking medications....
I do recommend that they work with their doctor to make sure
they are on the right one and that they are on the min. amount
necessary.
There are so many different levels of what I term "creativity"
that I cannot predict what would happen if he would stop his
medications....and either way HAS to wean off these meds or
could spiral into a major episode if he just goes cold turkey.
With that said....there are many of us that have learned to
"ride the waves" . What this means is.....we don't
worship the up anymore.
He is comparing the up with the down of depression. He is
not learning how to be his true self "in the middle".
Depression is boring ...the middle is not. A medicated neutral
is not really the middle as it is numbed by the medication.
Think of it this way.... the heart pumps.....when it pumps
a little fast it is still functioning well but when it pumps
too fast (fibrillation) it quivers rather than pumps and no
longer is getting blood throughout the body...in the same
way when we go on the high.....it can go beyond the "positive
level".
Here also is my theory....
Many of us have evolved to be able to "self -inject adrenaline"
into our bodies.....in the old days we would use this injection
to fight the beast and it would be drained.
We no longer fight a physical beast and instead use this high
stress adrenaline to: overachieve, create, write, do business,
clean house.....and so our bodies don't really release the
adrenaline which has made our muscles tense, our blood pressure
rise and our blood vessels constrict with the pressure....we
try to hold it ... to keep it ...to make it last longer.
To make this last longer we try to self-medicate...instead
of resting, instead of pacing we reach for food, alcohol,
drugs, sex, shopping etc etc. anything to keep the up "up".
But the body cannot take this for an extended period, even
though society worships and rewards the over achiever....eventually
the body wins...it slam dunks you into depression.
And then you sit... and think...."why me"..."something
is wrong with me"...."it is only me"...."I
hate my life".
I know many people who never really knew themselves ... they
only knew the adrenaline induced self and the depressed self....they
never knew what they really wanted because it was always optimism
and pessimism that made the decisions in their lives.
so.... my answer.... my theory is...
I believe that if some of these key elements exist that a
person MAY do well and even flourish without medication. But
that ALL of these things must exist.
1. A strong desire to make change....they are willing
to do what it take to make this change in their life.
2. They have come to a place where they can see that the
high level is not their BEST self (very addicting so often
the addiction fights to stay)
3. A willingness to communicate and welcome suggestion
(ie: honey...you are on a wave ride ...breathe) To be able
to take that type of comment with insult or anger.
4. Tools...in the book we talk about tools like...breathing
the high to a place that is not so stressful and harmful on
your body. We talk about prevention, lifestyle adjustments,
learning who you really are, accepting your creativity and
the responsibility that comes with it...the responsibility
is the need to balance and replenish without guilt or self
depreciation. We talk about when to make a decision in your
life that will effect your life the way that you REALLY want
it to.
Also these are beneficial though I have seen change without
them so I will not call them mandatory.
5. Support - community. Either "positive"
therapist or doctor that will do things like suggest lifestyle
change instead of grabbing the first option of medication.
Is willing to listen to different ideas. Who does NOT start
the conversation off with "tell me what is wrong with
your life" this question is irrelevant...it is not the
life that is wrong as much as it can be lifestyle that needs
adjustment.
6. Support - home Loving partners that accept us how
we are but do not coddle us too much. That helps us instead
to recognize the symptoms of a high wave rider before hand
and who help us to create a balanced and nourishing environment.
I sat recently at a table and in each chair sat intelligent,
creative, productive members of society. Writers, business
men, film producers, administrators and as we talked we all
acknowledge that we indeed were Waveriders and that our rise
and fall in creativity has with it ... some rules.
I hope that this will help you and your partner.
Being bipolar is not bad. It can be hard to handle if it is
in the extreme ranges. It can be devastating if not understood
because you have no idea why one day you are superman/women
and the next day you can barely function.
BTW ... the adrenaline is addicting and the more we use it
the more we seem to become "sensitive to its effects"
.. it is like a drug addiction of high stress.
I hope your partner is willing to learn first that the high
is not his/her best self.
Take care
Indigo
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author: The Wave Riders
http://www.thewaveriders.com
Respond to this article by emailing
Indigo E-mail info@thewaveriders.com
Click
here to order The Wave Riders Book
(http://www.thewaveriders.com/order.html)
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