Note: I wrote this to my friend, though I kept it in my journal and did not read it to her for a long time after our conversation.  I heard her on the phone crying in pain, "it just keeps coming to get me, this depression, as soon as I think I am doing well it comes back.  I cannot take it anymore." It tore at my heart, I knew the pain she was suffering and I wanted to help her.  I wanted to give her the book but it was not yet completed.  I could no longer wait.  Shortly after this conversation I self-published the book because I could not stand to see people suffer. The book now has been helping many people and I am honored and proud and so happy to hear the words "I am 2000% better!", from readers of The Wave Riders.

Friend
Today I hear you crying and my heart bleeds in pain.
I want to run to you and wrap my arms around you.
I want to tell you that all will be okay.
I want to tell you that I feel your sorrow.
I want to tell you that the darkness you see today will go away.
I want to take your hand and guide you up the steps that lead out of the pit of sadness and despair into the sunshine.
I want to shroud you from the world and wipe away your tears.
I know that no one can heal before it is time.
I know that no one will hear before they are ready.
No one can reach you from behind the wall while you close your doors to the world and so today I cannot sit with you and tell you all that is in my heart for you.
I want to shout out to you all that I know, in the hopes that it may help you, yet if I try I may overwhelm you and lose you.

I understand.
I know you need to sit in peaceful contemplation and in your own time pull yourself out.
I want to be there for you in some way and so I give you what I write.
My thoughts - the insights I gained from the pain.
There is more - so much more.
I have been where you are today and I have felt alone.

A world filled with people can leave us feeling very lonely when our little piece of the world seems so out of place.

But you are not alone.

My beautiful friend you are amongst so many talented and brilliant people who are in their own pit at this very moment, who cannot see the unique gifts they bring to our world just as right now you do not know how incredible you are. It seems that intelligence and creativity at times comes with a periodic sense of endless darkness. Many great men and great women have been where you are today - including Abraham Lincoln who accomplished such remarkable deeds.

Please keep telling yourself that this place where you are today is not forever. The place you are today is just a rest stop - you will see sunshine and laughter again. Please be gentle with yourself and you will find this rest stop much shorter than if you start calling yourself names.
Many of my thoughts - I know you know -but maybe today you have forgotten. I hope some of my words are new enough to change the way you think today so that tomorrow you will feel the haze lift up from your eyes and you will feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. From inside you is the strength to end your pain, though today you will not believe me.

Today just be a comfort to yourself and try to turn your focus from the negative. Do not feed the negative thought that is running through your mind. Know that today you do not see the world as it truly is so please, do not make decisions from the place you dwell today. Today simply try to find the smallest joy and wrap your body and mind around it. Today just rest and love yourself and know that I care about you and that I am sending you all my blessings.

You are not alone.

I have written a book with my thoughts and the discoveries that helped me through the difficult times. I have named the book The Wave Riders for the many up and down waves that we ride.  Take only what words you need, my friend, I will not be offended if you should choose to be alone. Just remember when you decide again to return and join humanity ...

I will be here.

Indigo Irwin Kennedy