For some, it seems so easy. "God has granted them everything and left me here in despair,"  are the words I would hear myself say.  I have prayed for change, wept for change and begged for change all the while believing it was an external gift from God, the Universe or some source outside myself.

"You are God-God is within you" the new age leaders would shout, but I could not hear, could not understand. What did it mean? 

What good is that statement when I can't even pay my bills?    " I am a good person", I would shout. "All I want is rest!"  I would repeat my prayers day after day, yet relief did not come.

I felt lost and confused. What good was it being a good person, when those who didn't care succeeded, and the devil lurked waiting to steal your soul for a simple mistake? Perhaps, I thought, as in the movie the Exorcist, the devil just came, whether you were good or bad. 

I watched young children talk in fear of the devil that would come should they think bad thoughts.  I have heard children scream in the night from terror of the evil creature that would come and take their soul..

Out of respect for some seniors, I sat through some uninvited lectures on the devil and his doings. They blamed the movie "Star Wars" and TV as well as what the kids today were wearing and  I thought to myself, "are you crazy?"

I don't do the devils work after watching TV, I do the devils work every time I participate in fear.

Every time I instill fear in a child or beat myself down. I do devil's work when I live in doubt, believe in lack and walk away from faith; faith in myself, and faith in a higher power.

I do God's work when I walk towards Faith.

I do God's work when I remember that this journey we travel is not a journey in solitude - we are not alone.

I observed my daughter at a young age and realized that my child had the Faith to jump in my truck at anytime and travel to any destination-even the ones she could not visual in her mind. She neither expected that the entire journey would be good nor did she expect it to be bad. She expected nothing - she just lived each minute of the ride as it came to her. She did not question what each moment would bring or why we chose each road. She simply went along for the adventure, appreciating each new scene, persevering through the tough times, all the while knowing that we were fine. 

She believed that as long as she was with her mother that everything, even the bad stuff would work out okay. When we trust and have faith in God we know that our soul cannot be harmed through any experience no matter how tough it seems at the time. We know that as long as we are with God that everything, even the bad stuff will work out okay. When we have faith we see that experience is just that - experience.

My daughter and I have learned that the apparent bad times can be more interesting and memorable than the good times, when  the story is shared with a friend. Those moments that we thought we would never be able to live through, ended up becoming our precious gut-wrenching, belly- laughing memories. We gladly relived the foolish errors we had made and stood proud as we remembered the obstacles we had overcome.. 

My daughter was able to walk through her experiences with me because she had faith. She had Faith that I would stay with her. Faith, that no matter what happened we would be okay. 

I believe that this is what God asks of us - Just Faith.

Somewhere along the road of life she will forget, she will begin to question and she will ask God why he chose this road for her and not for someone else?

Why is it that in our adult life we simply cannot just go along for the ride? Why do we seem to lose the ability to know that no matter what happens that our soul is in good hands? Why do we forget that the soul is stronger than our body, and that the soul will survive. 

Perhaps our afterlife will consist of a series of campfires, surrounded by souls and good soul friends telling colorful stories and sharing a few good laughs about what we had experienced while here on earth.  Perhaps, the heavens will ring with laughter as we ponder the innocence and limitations of our humanity.

God I have found exists in me, and the devil too. The devil has a voice that sounds like doubt and fear and worry. It is a part of me with a recognizable nasty name. God too is in me and my God shines, whenever I choose to believe in myself, to forgive myself, and take responsibility for creating my world, as it exists today.

I want to remember to let the road show me its destination, and to revel in the beauty of the passing scenes.

Indigo Irwin Kennedy

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