(PI58) Creative Anger
©Author: Indigo Irwin Kennedy/TheWaveRiders.com
A positive driving force and an initiator of change.
by Indigo Irwin Kennedy
When you look around your world right now, what do you see?
Do you see a scene that makes you really happy or are you disgusted, frightened, frustrated, and unhappy about
your surroundings and about the things you will or will not do today?
If your surrounding do not enhance your life then perhaps it is time to ask yourself some questions.
Take a moment, ask yourself the following question and listen carefully to your response.
"Do I want to change this and am I READY for change?"
Write down every thought your mind releases and watch for response like:
"I would but you see I can't" or "I would like to but someone won't let me"
Listen for the limitations and excuses that your mind is feeding you.
If your response is somewhat undecided and doesn't sound very determined you may
not be ready for
change. To try to change at this time may even be self-defeating. Without the real desire for
change you will set yourself up for failure.
If you do not feel a real sense of the necessity for change you are better off
to try learning to love
where you are. Motivation for real change comes from the gut and unfortunately for us humans
we sometimes require real pain to make us motivated.
If you do not feel the deep motivation for change you may have internally made a
decision to stay where you are.
In other words you have been invited to the party but you have decided already not to go. For some reason you like the comfort of
this place, this situation or this relationship. Maybe in your mind it is safer
to stay with the pain you know rather than risking change and the unknown that
comes with the change.
There is a story called the Black Door and tells a story of prisoners that were offered a choice before execution. The general walk them down a long corridor and would question the prisoner;
"You may take the Black Door or you may be executed here and now."
"What is your choice?"
Most prisoners chose execution over the UNKNOWN horrors that may lay behind the mysterious Black Door. When the general was asked by his lieutenant "what is behind the Black Door?" the general replied "Freedom, but I have met few men willing to take it."
Ever heard the saying; "Better the devil you know"?
Not until our
discomfort becomes unbearable and the head of creative anger arrives do we initiate real change.
It is, that feeling deep within your belly and that anger rising from the depths, that says "this will be
done or I will die in the process" that makes major advancements in our
Anthony Robbins once said, "that people tend to move toward pleasure and away from pain."
This means that if you think changing your life will cause you some pain, you
are not going to make the change and if you agree that it sure is
comfy just sitting here in front of the TV, then you will likely stay in front of the TV until
the pain of your existence is so great as to motivate you to change.
I don't believe that God just plunks your solutions down in your lap for you.. He waits for you to say okay this
is enough, now it is time to do something about my situation. I sometimes think of God as a short order cook
(Feb 2003). Get your order in clearly and you get a great meal with
all the fixings. Keep changing your order; "Well I have the bacon but I really want the ham"
and you may find neither order makes it to your table.
Have you ever had an experience where everything clicked? Everything you needed was provided
for you and odd coincidences occurred to complete your task. In your heart you knew it was just too
smooth to be an accident, and then you just ignored what happened and went on your way.
You did not stop to note, that at the time the coincidences occurred, you were motivated
and extremely focused on the task at hand. From deep down you knew you had to get it done,
you would accept no other possibility and your order to the Great Chef was clear. Let's get this
thing done now! There was no hesitation; no forced effort just focused energy.
Sometimes the pain of our current state is so great that it shows itself in anger, and sometimes this anger can be used as a tool to hone in our energy and push us toward change.
Creative anger can fuel your energy long enough to complete the task. It was creative anger at cigarette manufacturers that finally allowed me to quit after smoking for more than 30 years.
In our lives there are many choices that we will make but there are only three
main choices when it come to making change in our lives.
When we look at our live we could...
It is up to you!
- Live in the current situation and Learn to Love it.
- Hate it, be miserable and stay there anyway.
- Change it
What would you say if I said, "Where you are at now is all you deserve".
What if I said, "You of all people do not deserve joy and abundance".
What if I said, "You should just stay there for the rest of your life and be miserable".
Would it spark your anger? Would you start to list why you deserve better? Would you try to
convince me I am wrong? Funny isn't it, how you will listen to these negative statements from
yourself but you feel angry when someone else says it to you or about you..
Use your creative anger to catapult you into change until you can set sail under your own
wind using joy as a motivator. While joy is the greatest of all enduring
motivators, anger at your situation may be the first step at
finding the determination you need to make your change.
At times in my life I have been so
motivated that I have said, "I will change this reality or die trying." The need for change
was just that important and change became inevitable.
I remember going back to high school to complete my grade 12 and graduate in the academics at
a mature age. I returned with self-doubt plaguing my thoughts.
Who am I fooling? I can't do Algebra!
I remember creative anger appearing when I took a test to determine the math level of the students
in the class I was in. The teacher entered the room, marked tests in his hands
and a look on his face that I interpreted as an angry scowl. "Some of you should not be here," he stated as he
looked around the room. "Was he looking at me?" I thought. Yes, he looked right into my eyes.
"Your math level is way below what is expected for this program". I thought to myself," I need
this to graduate and go on to photography".
As he walked slowly handing the marked tests to each student I sat in my seat at the back of the
class and shrank down in the chair. I prayed that he would place my test upside down on the
table so that the neighboring students would not see my shame laid out on the sheet in bright red ink. As he drew nearer to my desk he again made eye contact and my heart began to pound,
pushing out from under my blouse, fear and sweat permeated my soul.
The cold fear of a victim about to be attacked and publicly stoned rose within me. In defense
the hairs on my body stood up and my muscles tensed prepared to run from this
situation - or
fight. My soul felt the pain and it reared itself in anger. I hardened my emotions.
"I'll show you," I thought to myself. " I don't care what your stupid test shows." "I can do this." " I will do this." I returned a hardened stare and prepared to defend myself just as he placed the test on my desk with a bright red 80% mark on the top.
I thought him quite attractive, pleasing really. This class should be fun. I hadn't been kicked out, and the anger had just pushed the determination to a level where I could not fail regardless of the outcome, because I would keep coming back and back until the reality I deserved was the reality that I lived.
True passion can stir this type of determination, like the type you can see in an athlete, an artist or a scientist. For them their love of what they do, their passion, fills their heart and drives them on. For some of us the current reality leaves little room for big dreams and our only desire may be a little rest now and then. At one point in my life my only answer to
the question; "what would you do with a million dollars?" was - rest.
At times it may be the anger, not anger thrown at anyone or anything, just the anger of allowing yourself to live so long in a reality that you cannot tolerate, that stirs the determination for change. You could jump off a bridge to end what you see before you but there are no guarantees that the afterworld won't plunk you right back here again.
So I guess we are back to the three choices;
Love it and Live it - Hate it and live it as a miserable sob- or Change it and
walk toward a life that you will enjoy.
I can hear some people saying..."okay I'm angry and I am angry enough to start making changes.
You may be angry enough for change but you don't know what to change. It maybe
explore other possibilities, small steps and personal passions. Your decision to change will
not change your current situation immediately but your decision to change will change something.
Perhaps first, inside, it starts to change the person you are.
You can now look at your current reality as a non-permanent situation. You are an outsider; a temporary visitor and you are moving on. Sometimes just knowing that where you are today is not the only possibility is enough to make the days bearable.
The ultimate task, and perhaps the ultimate fear is the absolute next step. You have the task of taking full responsibility for designing your future, regardless of the current limitations that you see around you. This situation has been created from your past choices. These choices supported you being comfortable here.
You are no longer comfortable and you are ready for change.
If you do not have money, then make some, dig ditches, baby-sit, do what it takes legally. It is not forever it is just while you design your new life.
Look at one of the common financial rules; the rule of 10%. Pay yourself first -
10% of everything you earn. So if you earn a dollar you save ten cents. The rule of 10% allows you to save no matter how little you earn. In the beginning it won't be a lot but it will grow. The money you save is your tomorrow money - your making your dream a reality money.
Split your money three ways; Into the present, the past and the future. The
present money is for things that you use today; groceries, the rent and
clothing. The past is for the things you already used or created such as;
credit card bills, student loans, loans from friends or cleaning up messes from
the past. Your future money is for whatever you have determined is what your
future will be; education, materials and equipment. You are not
working on one and leaving the other behind.
In the same way that you can divide your money - you can also divide your time
into three areas. Work on solving problems created from the past, spend time on
enjoying today and take time to work on projects that will enhance your future.
We often put all our efforts into today with nothing left for the future or we
put all our efforts into the future and forget to live today. The beauty of
this division system is that your future, your past and your present are all
holding hands and walking toward your future.
Changing your life can be difficult but it will get easier. Remember also that
just because you have the desire to live a new life does not make you good at living this new
life yet. Old habits come up, old choices appear. It takes practice. Practice! Practice! Practice!
You didn't give up when you were learning to walk just because it was
difficult, so don't give up now.
What if you want to change but you have been depressed for so long that you do
not know what you want to do?
In The Wave Riders book we talk about studying and analyzing what fleeting moments of joy you
find. If you do not have a moment of joy to study at this time then remember back to a feeling of joy and find what created it. For example, I am not big on cooking and baking. Never really learned how to do it well and I
was not really inspired to do a lot of it while I struggle daily to pay bills and keep the house running. Yet sometimes, when the house is clean, my daughter is home, and cookies are baking in the oven I have an overwhelming sense of joy that permeates every cell in my body. I have learned to stop at that moment and bathe in the glory of joy. I have always considered myself a career woman not a homemaker. I was raised in a generation where only career women were considered smart. I have since realized the stupidity of this mentality.
So in this career women's body is a feeling of joy that is produced within because I created
a cozy home environment.
What does that tell me? It tells me that for years I did not know myself
very well. I was told to be a career woman yet somewhere in my soul is a desire to nurture a
home. So now, I work with my career and I nurture my home.
Though I am still intrigued with business, my priority is definitely my family
and our home.
What if you do not have the money to do what you want?
Lack of money is a current reality limitation. It is current because the lack of money
was created from past choices. But, what you decide today can create a
different future from opportunities that you are currently unaware of. For
example, if I wanted a Bed and Breakfast to honor my home nurturing joy but I
did not have the money I could find that there are lots of people
with money willing to back a good investment and that there are many B&B owners that need
managers or vacation relief. I could take on an extra job in a
hotel/motel/B&B, and put the money toward my future while gaining valuable
training and experience.
These are just samples of opportunities, there are many more than I am currently
For me, my truth was not
in the B&B, though I may have a ranch resort someday, but it was the recognizing of the
value of the home to me that was important.
The value is in knowing who I am, and knowing how to change my disgust at where I
was, and use my creative anger into a motivating force for change.
We can learn to make changes without hardship and anger but often it is our anger and our pain that
becomes the strongest catalyst for change.
Where will you be tomorrow? Make the journey an adventure!
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Author of The Wave Riders (TheWaveRiders.com)