We cannot afford to dabble with the negative thought that promises comfort each time we are tired. We need to be very committed to pushing the illusion of the downtime away, if we do not, then we are guaranteed a session with the beast of depression. We should not toy with the negative - yet, we do. We think the thoughts, we watch the bad news and we read the bad news and we start to look at the dirt on the window rather than the garden beyond. We begin to see flaws in our manner, our look, our body, our mates, our kids, our parents, our bosses, our world and we attempt while exhausted to solve all of the problems that we see.

There is a prime rule here: STOP THE 1ST NEGATIVE THOUGHT

Do not wait until you have listened to a few of the "life is no good", " I am no good" thoughts. Every thought you give energy grows and then each new negative thought added to that grows exponentially and that energy that you now offer to the darkness increases. When this happens the fight to regain ground back to mid-wave will be very difficult...so why toy with the first thought...why listen to the second....STOP...get rest if that is what you need or TAKE ACTION if it is the cutting of the lawn or a dreaded call that you are avoided...just don't TOY with the negative.

I have observed that the main difference to a Wave Rider that can bounce back quickly from the temptation of depression and the ones that stay in longer is that one will quickly kick out the 1st negative thought and the other will need to hear, to express, to share the negative as if in some way it feel good to wallow.

I am getting good now at hearing the negative words and pushing them away, but sometimes it "calls my name". It waits until I am very tired and ever so slowly places blinders over my eyes and negativity in my heart. It calls out to me to join it in the comfort of the giving up. I look lovingly at the couch where I could crawl up, blanket wrapped highly around my knees. I see it as comfort, easier than trying. I see the desire to give up - and why not...I am exhausted. Why instead do we not balance our life before we go from black to white, on to off, up to down - seek the middle.

Seek to balance before breaking.

I know that if I give in. I will have some comfort, in that; I will no longer have to try. I will no longer expect much of myself because I am just too depressed to do anything. If I just say the words…I am depressed leave me alone or if I just think the words somehow there will be relief from the pain. I hear the words: "you are not worthy" and "there is nothing for you" and I know I must stop the thoughts. Right now I have to tell myself, "Shut UP" or "CUT IT OUT" and I must acknowledge that the negativity has begun. I must remember what I did to get here! I must remember that it was the "up" that created the "down" and to get rid of the "down" I need TLC, not BRNTM, Be really nasty to myself.

I think and I remember…I worked too long, created too long or danced too long without a break…I played or I volunteered, so much that I left very little for myself.

Now, I know…I am not depressed - I am tired…but I also know that if I listen to those thoughts and give them the energy they demand that I will go into depression. With each little negative thought that I allow… I also allow the darkness to grow…I give it the energy it requires to stay alive…I feed the depression.

Don't toy with it…Well, "I'll just go toward the negative for a little while" or "my life really is bad".

This is playing with it and it will suck you in to the deepest of holes and it will take you forever to climb out it you give into those negative thoughts about problems that may not really exist. It is simply not worth the comfort you may see in the negative.

My daughter found this quote in her school agenda book and I think it applies to us here….

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging
Will Rogers

If you find yourself in depressive thought - STOP THINKING-go and take positive action - go and do a little something to improve your day, and do something to nurture the body and spirit that you have burned out. DO NOT continue the negative thought no matter how useful it seems to you at the time.

You must do this, or you are embracing depression, and you will pay the price. You cannot kick the depression from your life, unless you are very committed to killing off the negative thought. I have found that sometimes when get pleasure in the negativity, we somehow like to hear ourselves say: "I am not smart enough" or "there will never be anything for me". These are not thoughts that will improve you or your life.

Author and Speaker Wayne Dyer once said,

"Wisdom is getting rid of every thought that weakens you."

I think that is pretty clear.

You will suffer with depression, as long as you want to play a game with negative energy and you partake in the pleasure that you see there. Do not use the depression, to have power over a sympathetic partner or friend - do not use it as reason to stop what you are doing and do not use it as a reason to give up - it will not reward you for coming to it - it will only demand more of you like an addicting drug that never fills the void.

Just how do I stop the thought?

I might get angry at the thought and say NO MORE!
I might remind myself that I am a little tired not defeated.
I might say, I have gone that route before and I know negative thought does not improve my situation.
I might say, A little rest and this will seem way better in the morning (and it usually does)
I might say…If I give in to the negative illusion of comfort for even one moment then I know that I will have to work to climb back out of depression for weeks and I know it is just not worth it …then move on.

Move onto any small thing that you can accomplish…a positive action…edit the proposal, cut the lawn and do not expect this action to bring too much joy …just do it.

Then rest; play a relaxing game of pool, listen to music, read a book; whatever it takes to fill up the glass of energy that you have drained.

We cannot give into the comfort and we cannot toy with the thoughts by repeating them or allowing more in because if we do they will grow and grow and grow and nothing in our world will seem right. We have to stop and tell ourselves, "this is a simple need for my body and mind screaming for rest and joy and not full-blown depression", however keep feeding it and it will become full-blown depression.

It is the being tired, then, the thoughts that are nurtured and not destroyed, that usually creates our depression.

Phase 1 - How to create depression.
We overwork, overplay or we are over stressed. We leave very little time for breathing or relaxing. We are way too busy meeting deadlines and expectations to be concerned about consequences right now…I will rest later when this is all done.

Phase 2 - Exhaustion
Wow, it is done and I am beat. Too tired to go and have some fun now, just need to rest. But rest does not help - we have gone too far. We wake up feeling groggy because this tiny amount of rest cannot possibly make up for the week of abuse that we just placed on ourselves. Or we begin to over- rest

Phase 3 - Thought
Thoughts begin: I am lazy. Why don't I ever feel like doing things that other people seem to enjoy? Ugh, I can't get up and go into work another day. Man, all I do is work and work. I am too old to start anything new. Nothing will ever give me joy.

Phase 4 - Choice

Choice A: Give into the apparent comfort and crawl into a ball and feel sorry for myself and whine about how miserable my life is (even if I am only whining to myself).

Choice B: Get up, understand that I have blown it again and I have gone way too far. I will feel better if I just continue with positive action not looking for too much joy until I can come back to mid wave again. Tell yourself that as soon as you are a little more rested, you will look at ways to avoid doing too much again.

Then...

Delegate - Hire help - Get a Volunteer - Ask a Friend - Ask your Church - Change the schedule or just say NO to extra work.

Wave riders burn energy at extremely high rates and must compensate or burn out.
You may give 150% all week then expect to find joy on Saturday morning. This will not happen…it might happen once but continue to give too much without compensating your body and spirit and you will not be able to find the joy at all…so is it worth it?

If you give of yourself 150% for 4 hours, then try to take the afternoon off. If you give of yourself 150% for the whole day - find two days to play. If your current job does not support this then consider creating or finding something that does. Don't necessarily quit until you have worked it out - remember grey not black or white...it is not work or quit...sometimes it is stay,while I work at setting up something better.

Wave Riders can multi-task and create faster than most mid-wave functioning people and so Wave Riders need to take extra breaks even if it is to breathe slowly for 5 minutes periodically throughout the day. Everyone can find a few minutes to deep breathe - you simply must.

You may think that having a schedule that supports the wave that you function is impossible - it is not. You may have to learn to live with less income temporarily or permanently, or you may create something that can earn you more income. You need to trust that you can create a better environment for yourself and start looking for ways to do it.

Toying with negativity is not the way to create positive change in your life - But it is the way to depression…so decide when it sneaks up on you, where you choose to go -you choose to go either toward positive change or into the hole that you keep digging. Will you keep the thought that weakens you or make a clear decision to only allow into your mind thoughts that can help you to grow?

Remember you cannot keep making the same choices and expect a different result. When that first negative thought enters you mind, choke it - wrap you hands around its throat, give it a good swift kick in the butt and throw it away - you don't need it!

Indigo Irwin Kennedy