Depression hides the good things in life even though the good things remain unchanged and available to us just as our world seems better than normal when we are up ...it also looks worse than normal when we are even slightly lower on the wave.

I recently bought a small aluminum boat because to me being on the water is just about as important as breathing air…I don't fish but I do swim and I just love; looking at water, touching the water and being near water.

My intellectual self knows that getting in my boat and participating in this activity is fun, but when I am tired and on the low end of my wave ride I hear quite a different story.

I might hear…. it's a lot of work…or it will be boring…or it's a bit hazy today or the waves may be too big…or the water's too cold…or the boat might not start…or I don't wanna do this…wah…

So, what happened? Did my view of the activity change or did the fact that I am down on my wave, slightly tired and low on my "happy brain chemical", change the way I view the opportunities for fun around me?

My guess is…my view just changed and this is not how I really feel about my boat.

What should we do when this happens?

We need to look back and take this opportunity, not to fall into the depression again, but to see why we may be feeling this way and adjust or stop our negative thinking.

In this case, I was seeing boating as pain rather than pleasure and upon reflection I remembered that I had just arrived back from a long trip where I was quite sleep-deprived. Instead of resting when the trip was over, I immediately began working to catch up on the work that had been pilling up in my absence until finally exhaustion overwhelmed me and I fell asleep.

So, there I was wondering, why in the world, in my exhausted state, I didn't want to load up the boat, stop for gas and fight the crowds to the boat ramp all to get a boat in the water that was not going to be any fun. I could have taken this opportunity to beat myself up again, however the reality was, I was simply tired.

What I have learned from being a dedicated Wave Rider is that I have a few choices…

I know at this moment that I could …

1. Whine, give up and mope around the house feeling guilty for not going on the boat and throw in a little beating myself up for being a lazy slob who does not enjoy anything in life and just go right into the depression because giving up is really a lot easier than trying anything else.

2. Just get in the boat and get it over with because I know I will have fun when I get there and hope that my attitude will change and it usually does.

3. Realize that I am really tired and explain my feelings to my family, make arrangements for a different day and get some rest without guilt. You don't want to do this one too many times but you should be able to do this occasional when the need arises.

All of these choices are available and all of these choices have results.

If I chose # 1, what I call my pouting stage: wah…I'm tired…. no good…don't wanna…then I will have a result and that result will be depression. Each negative whipping that I participate in will turn give the gift of my power and strength over to the darkness and void of depression. Remember, it is very important that you hear and stop the first negative thought…don't play a game with them. Stop them immediately or you will have to fight a long and difficult battle to rise again. This choice no longer fits my life as I know the struggle to get out is not worth the temporary illusion of the comfort of giving up…. I don't need to give up I just need rest and relaxation.

If I chose #2,  I may or may not enjoy the day. Don't chose it and expect that your exhaustion will be repaired immediately, because it will take time for the rest and the fun to kick in. Remember the damage of the exhaustion has already been done and so you must give the body and mind time to come back to mid-wave again.

If  I chose #3, because I know that if  I attempt to do any more I will fall asleep in the process, then I need to take a break from fun or exercise. If my body needs rest then I need to give it rest and be at peace…I cannot turn what could be one day of rest into days of depression by giving the negative guilty thought added power. We are often taught to follow through on our promises no matter what, and not following through means that we are irresponsible and terrible parents/spouses/friends, however we are rarely taught that sometimes it is best and okay to break a promise. It is okay to say I love you dearly but I cannot do this today. Being tired from overwork does not mean that you are not a lazy slob. We Wave Riders love to throw "lazy" on ourselves…and yet we are usually the most vibrant and energetic of people …when not exhausted…so lighten up and take some TLC. Don't choose breaking a promise too often and instead choose not to exhaust yourself in this way. 

Don't start thinking that there is nothing in life that you enjoy…when it is only that you enjoy nothing in life at the moment.

The best way of course to avoid feeling like there is nothing in life worth enjoying is to balance your mind energy with the nutrition, rest and exercise that the body requires.

There is a difference between a deep depression lack of enthusiasm tiredness and an exhaustion created from either work or play. Be aware of which type of tired that you are feeling.

If it is work/play related take a rest - again, without guilt.

If it is depression orientated get up and do the activity without any expectation of joy. Just do it to perform the action  that will, in the end, create the feeling. It is not the other way around. Do not sit around waiting to want to do something, as that rarely happens and the less you do the less you will want to do. Almost all Wave Riders believe that there is nothing in life that they enjoy …but it is usually that they have participated in nothing, that they enjoy, for so long that they can no longer bring the feeling to the surface.

If you cannot feel what it is you enjoy then remember back to something you once enjoyed and do it …no matter how small …just reintroduce it into your life in a small way and let it build upon itself… it only matters that you start the rest is automatic.

Create the action that creates the feelings.

If you want to feel proud …stand tall.
If you want to feel happy…make a smile.
If you want to feel athletic …get moving.
If you want friends …start socializing.
If you want love…start loving yourself.
If you want to stop feeling badly for yourself…help someone else.
If you want to lose weight…take a walk.
If you want to feel smarter…take a course.

Do not wait to feel like doing the things that you desire in your life because without the action the feeling will not come. It is the continued action of doing something that creates the joy of doing it.

You may be so far away from who you are that you cannot see today the possibilities so, just trust and do and without thought, begin moving in the direction you desire.

Just don't schedule so much fun that it becomes more like work and your exhaust yourself again….just little bits of fun action that add up to a joyous you.

Start a great new adventure and take care of yourself.

Indigo Irwin Kennedy