Everyday we learn something new about our world and ourselves. Everyday this new knowledge forms new brain pathways that changes us in some small way. Everyday, we practice old habits that move us in the same old direction, or grasp onto something new and we practice new habits that begin to reshape our world.

With each new thing that we learn, we begin to grow emotionally.
When we grow emotionally and heal old wounds, we begin to change ourselves on the inside. This internal change is at work long before our physical bodies or our environment begins to show evidence of change.

What this means, is that people will continue to see us as, the "old us" even though our efforts have been producing miraculous changes inside. Negative judgment from ourselves or from others at this transitional time, can really set you back from your goal. This transitional time sets up a vulnerable condition between the old and the new.

For example, lets look at a possible financial scenario.

For years, bad spending habits have "maxed" out our credit cards and we owe everyone we know money. Overwhelmed by the immense weight of this financial burden, we have been emotionally distraught and unable to figure out how to pay even the smallest of debts. This overwhelmed state left us exhausted and depressed.

That was the past.

Today, let's say that we have taken hold of the reins and we are getting our finances and ourselves together. We have been working with a debt advisor and we have taken on a second part-time job that we have decided to continue until the debts are paid. We have torn up our credit cards and we have a plan to divide our money into sections so that each month everyone will receive a little something toward the debt. We feel good and we are determined to rid ourselves of all of this unnecessary debt!

Now on the inside of our minds, the finances are under control. Things are looking good because we now have a plan. We are not judging ourselves on the bills that are stacked high on our desk. We know these debts have been created by our past actions, and we know our current actions are designed to get them all paid off.

Negative self-judgment from anyone at this time will not get these bills paid only our our positive ACTIONS will.

We are now in solution mode!

We manage to look at the mess and we say to ourselves, "It will be okay because I am working to improve this situation and it will be solved". We go about our day working on solutions and we feel great relief and we sigh with relief as we see that we are able to attack this debt rather than hide from it.

Then the phone rings, panic strikes and we can tell by the sound of the voice that this person on the other end of the phone does not understand anything about being in over your head. This anonymous voice quickly says, "this is X company and your payment is months overdue". We demand full payment NOW! The voice seems demeaning and speaks to us as if we were pond scum and trying to rip the company off. The voice does not understand that we are tired from the struggles. We are trying to do our best but for years our best was simply surviving and did not include anything left over for debt payments. Our heart beats faster and we begin to bring up thougths that we have failed, we are no good. The past heavy debt burden has weighed on us for years pushing us deeper into depression, illness, and lack of energy. Though we wish we could have done better, we could not.

Finally, we fold from the pressure and we plead into the phone, "I don't have the money!" "Your threats are not helping." We tense and our mind squeezes tightly - unable to think. We cannot find a mutual agreement with this strange voice on the phone and in frustration and anger we hang up feeling beaten and bruised.

As the last bits of our dwindling energy drain from our mind and body we slump on the couch. Our good intentions sucked away with the fleeting energy. We turn on the television to drain out the thoughts that are now flooding our mind. "This is never going to go away" and "my little efforts are never going to make a difference so what is the point in trying?" In just a few minutes, our determination and joy has changed into despair and depression.

We are no longer in solution mode!

What just happened?

Energy Drainers are all around us and we need, during our transition time, to protect ourselves.
The"energy drainer" on the phone has zapped all of our good, productive, positive energy from us and replaced it with debilitating negative thought. In this negative state, we cannot change our current situation.

We need to shake it off and get back to where we were moving forward in positive motion. Regardless of what started this negative state, if it remains, we will not create a positive outcome. Remember that there is no comfort and no joy in the giving up - only pain. There is no freedom from debt under the covers - only avoidance. There is no pride in hiding - only self-loathing..

The best thing we can do for ourselves is get back to our plan of action without self-judgment. Stick to the plan until the goal has been obtained.

What if it was a weight loss scenario?

"Energy drainer" people, can often be disguised as friends that are willing to focus on "your weight problem". Often these friends are unaware that you have already started on a healthy plan of eating better foods and getting regular exercise. The energy drainers feel as though they simply must be the one to tell you that you need to "do something" about your weight (as if you didn't already know) and that they think they know what is the best diet and exercise program for you.

The most vulnerable time is when you are actually "doing well on the road to success"! You are exercising and you are eating better foods, but it is not showing on the outside yet. On the inside, your body is already busy creating the new you. Muscle is forming under the fat and your energy level and mental state are improving. Automatically you are reaching for better food because you are feeling better about yourself.

However, as you begin to really get yourself together there will be people that will be telling you, for example, "you really need to do something about your weight". You might say, "Yes, that is why I have started walking".

What if they say back to you, "Well obviously it is not working so maybe you should run!" ?

This critical and non-constructive comment can have deadly consequences to your solution mode. These types of comments can have you quickly throwing off your runners and heading back to life on the couch.

You need to believe in what you are doing and not in what they are saying. Do not waste your time on their cruel words and do not spend your time staring with your critical eyes into the mirror and focusing on the body created from the past. Do not listen to the comments of insensitive observers. Remembe,r also, that often even our best friends may not want to see us succeed if it means that it will leave them behind in some way. Often they do not want to see you solve your problems if they have not yet solved theirs. Do not get caught up in this sabatoge.

What you and everyone else sees TODAY, is only the physical manifestation of your PAST actions!

No one is yet seeing the physical manifestation of your CURRENT actions!

Continue on the PRESENT positive action path and the outcome, the FUTURE physical manifestation, must be better!

After a year of working slowly and surely toward my goal of getting fit I received a fairly hefty negative blow and my first thought was "where is the fridge". After months and months of working hard toward my goal, I fell into the words that were spewed forth by a well-meaning friend and allowed the negativity to fill my mind. It took me almost three weeks to get back on track eating properly and exercising regularly.

So please, remember not to judge yourself on what surrounds you today. We all have our mountains to climb and can only tackle them one step at a time. Move forward in quiet confidence, from this day on toward a better you and a better future by adding small steps that will accumulate into bigger results. As these results start to show and you start to feel better about your world, you will gain confidence and your small steps will become bigger steps that in the end, can and will change a world - YOUR world. In the end, with your new world in place, you will not be so vulnerable to outside negativity. Negative perception during your transition is an illusion it is not who you really are today.

It does not matter if "they" believe. It only matters that you do!

I have had many readers comment that there friends or family have said to them after they have read the book that, "there is a calm aura about you that was never there before".

This calm aura is common amongst readers and I believe this calm aura is the quiet knowing on the inside that something has changed - our world is no longer the same.

It is when we begin to really believe in ourselves that others can sense our belief long before they can be see the change with their eyes. I believe it is the gentle inner knowing that you are heading in a new direction, which creates a calm aura around you. It is the rare gift of inner peace.

Often we try to verbal communicate our change to our friends and sometimes they see only our words without proof.

Just remember to keep doing all the good "stuff" that you are doing and let your friends witness the new you by your actions not your words. When you feel the desire to convince your friends that you have changed, remember this quote from Winston Churchill (1874-1965, British Prime Minister)

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself.
Before you can move their tears, your own must flow.
To convince them, you must yourself believe."

Yours in Faith,
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Beyond the mind, around the heart, fill the soul.