Assignment 3. - Part A
Preparing the Hermit Cave - A TLC Box for the Downtime
By Indigo Irwin Kennedy ©Author: Indigo Irwin Kennedy/TheWaveRiders.com (PI0505hermitcave)

These assignments are based on the book "The Wave Riders" (order here), and it does help if you have already read the book. Don't worry if you have not as you will find a lot of good information her that will help. If you missed the beginning of the online workshops here is where we started...

Assignment 3
We now know that as Wave Riders, we will not be able to see anything in front of us that we enjoy when we are on the down wave of depression and we will not be able to see why we should slow down when we are on the up wave of adrenaline and optimism. Assignment 3 prepares us for the down time. Assignment 4 will give us tools and actions so that we will be prepared for the high energy up ride.

At either level of the wave, our view is distorted and we need to view these periods as temporary situations and not attempt to make decisions at these levels. But, we have a problem - if we cannot see what is going on with us at either level then how do we function daily and know what actions to take?

I have previously written about Planned Spontaneity in an article where I spoke about our desires for spontaneous actions and how planning to be "spontaneous" at some later period can help our desire to be adventurous. http://www.thewaveriders.com/articles/pi1104spontaneity.html,
In assignment 3 we are going to take this planning ahead a step further and plan our desired actions using triggers and prepackaged instructions to ourselves. After all, who else will you believe if not yourself?

We are going to prepare our plan of action for each phase of our moods in advance, starting with our down cycle - our antisocial phase - the hermit cave. We are going to prepare the items and the actions that will help us to return to the middle as soon as possible. You may have a difficult time doing this is you are currently depressed. If you are currently depressed go back and read Assignment 2A http://www.thewaveriders.com/articles/pi0205low.html. In order to detemine the what you need for this assignment you may need to wait until you return to the Mid-wave. If you are on Mid-wave, do not put this assignment off as it is your lifeline to maintain balance!

Downtime Facts:
We know that when we are depressed ...
· we cannot see any of our normal interests around us.
· we will not enjoy participating in normal activities.
· we do not want to socialize.
· we may have a tendency to go toward addictions (food, drugs, alcohol, shopping)

From Assignment 2A we know that these actions will help us return to Mid Wave:
(You have to force to feel! You are pushing beyond the current that is dragging you down)
· No negative thought not even one!!! - Use positive replacement thoughts.
· Force yourself to do small actions - pick up stuff, garden, one small project. .
· Get Exercise and Air / Nature / Outdoors
· Force yourself to get good nutrition and do personal care regardless of how you feel.

We know that we have to follow these instructions in an almost zombie like manner, without thought. These actions do not instantly make us feel better but they do head us back up the wave faster than if we do nothing. Focusing on the negative will only dig the hole deeper.

Assignment 3a Preparing the hermit cave - A TLC Box for the Downtime

Because we cannot think for ourselves or trust our own thoughts on the downtime, we need to make an emergency downtime TLC plan and package up the goods that will help us to feel better. Take the time when you are on the mid-wave to gather essentials that will give you comfort when you are on the lower levels. Because we tend to be hermits in the downtime, we need to be able to reach out for something that does not involve others and that will automatically be there for us without us making any decisions.

Get a box and name it TLC or Hermit Cave or anything that makes you feel good. Place the following items in the box.

· Write yourself a note to place in the box. This note should remind you that this situation is temporary. Include the negative thoughts that normally haunt you and write down the positive comeback that you are to use without thought when you are down. Write down the reasons why those negative thoughts are not real. Place this note in a box or basket that you will AUTOMATICALLY go to when you notice yourself feeling down. Tell yourself to remember that this is not forever, this is not personal - you are simply rebuilding the happy chemical that you used up. Remind yourself that the negative thought is useless and will not help the situation. Also remind yourself that any comfort you see in the giving up is not at all comfortable - comfort in the depression, is an illusion and giving into the negative makes it a tougher climb back up. Once you allow yourself to enter the darkness your self-focussed negativity will tie you securely to the bottom.

· Gather together supplies in advance of the downtime, that give you comfort to furnish what you know will be your hermit cave time, while you allow yourself to rebuild. Try not to choose the fudge, or chocolate (temporary relief and could bring on guilt) or the alcohol (a depressant that will not help).

Try instead... Your favorite CD (not a sad one), Your favorite movie (not a sad one), a gift certificate to yourself for a massage, new bubble bath, fresh towels, things of beauty, candles, body lotions and simply love yourself as if you were you own loving parent. Sound to feminine? (Remember to read the note in this month's newsletter, sent in by one of our male readers about TLC for men). Find things that nurture your soul. Put in your vitamins that you forget to take when you are up and feeling good or place your garden tools inside the box to give you that push you need to get outside. A small fun project that you have always wanted to do but never found the time…even if it is paint by numbers kids project. Add a rainy day tape, a meditation tape, a favorite blanket, but stay away from things that make you sad. This is no time to wallow in what you see as wrong but instead is a time to just have a bowl of chicken soup and be good to yourself. This is not the time to save the world....It is TLC time.

·Add a distraction.... We might want to study the Spanish we were trying to learn or to read a little on a new subject (nothing too intense). We might also want to find a great escape book. The downtime can be joyous times of nurturing if we do not take this replenishing period too seriously and allow ourselves the TLC. In your box, place a good book or an easy course to learn. Maybe you have always wanted to read up on gardening but never seemed to have the time when you were busy on the up wave…now is the time. Use caution in what you choose. Magazines on home improvement, fancy cars or cool toys can make us tense up with desire for items that we believe will solve our sadness. They will not solve what you must solve from within. There is never enough outside love to fill the hole, if you cannot first love yourself. There are never enough toys to make you happy if you cannot first be happy sitting just with yourself. There is never enough money to replace the serotonin in your brain that you exhausted…only time and TLC brings it back. (Medication may as well but medication also takes time)

· Action Instructions: Have your actions, like walking the dog or practicing your golf swing, planned in advance and place them on automatic in your mind. Write your action instructions down and place them in your box as a reminder. Your action instructions will tell you to DO these actions regardless of how you feel and do not allow yourself to think that you have the option NOT do them.

In this case, there is NO OPTION - THEY MUST BE DONE! These are the actions that you determine, in advance, for yourself to be the most beneficial to you. For me, for example, I have swimming three times a week and Tai Chi - 4 times a week. I also work with my dogs on the weekends for around 2 hours each day. I also try to get a walk in everyday…no I am not a fitness addict…in fact I think I could easily be a couch potato but I am pushing beyond my feelings to the exercise then once I have finished the exercise I reap the benefit of feeling good. I have many days when I will not want to do these things, but I know that the end result is what I want - so I force myself to continue even if the feeling is not there.

I keep the focus on the result not allowing the thoughts of "don't bother" or "go back to bed" to stop me. If I am really depressed then this exercise and these action options will not make me feel better right after doing them, but it is the continued effort to push past the feeling into the action that will eventually create the positive feelings again. Positive action will return you to the mid-wave faster than lying around at home on the couch will do. If I am just slightly low then the positive action will bring me back to the middle. I promise you that walking out of the pool feels much better than walking in at 7am. To persevere I have to focus on the end feeling not the feeling going in and I push past my mind telling me not to bother. Do not fill yourself with so much positive activity that the activity itself burns you out…balance your activities and your rest. Your instructions in your box should be reminders to yourself to stop thinking and get into action.

· Work on your schedule in advance. If you know you are always a little tired and down on Mondays then do not make it your people day or do not schedule important mind tasks for that day. We will go over the Wave Rider Calendar in a later assignment but for now, start to analyze your patterns and place it in your box so that you can adjust your schedule.

Next assignment.... Preparation for the "up times".

Yours in Faith,
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Beyond the mind, around the heart, fill the soul.