I found this note to myself written a few months back and I thought I would share this with you today.

"Awake and 4 am. I could not sleep. It seems to be a common occurrence these days with me. It seems to have little to do with "depression" or "bi-polar disorder" and much more to do with the fact that I am overwhelmed and feeling nervous about everything on my plate. New courses to teach, dogs to be fixed, taxes to be done, winter tires needed and plastic to be placed on the windows. I go over each item in my head and it won't stop. I went to bed late last night after talking on the phone half business and half personal, We had lots of exciting and difficult things on the menu of conversation from spiritual teachings to the complexities of hard drives and software.

I know one thing for sure. If this continues I am headed for a bout with depression and I will forget why it was that I came to the depression again. To me depression is simply a side effect of using up all of my adrenaline energy. Lack of sleep causes depression and many of us these days are pressed beyond normal limits; working into the night and into our dreams. When I cannot sleep at night I know I am "out of spirit", something is not right with my world and so instead of falling into panic and depression, I begin a period of discovery to determine what it is that does not belong in my personal life plan. This discovery may lead me to past procrastinations and subconscious worry brought on by overextending myself. I need to let some things go, learn to say "no" and balance my workload even if it means getting less material things in my life."

Many of us overfill our work days, pile up on social functions for the evening and hurry up to get to bed so that we can start again the next day. No wonder why we cannot sleep. Rarely do we allow ourselves the necessary wind-down time to GENTLY go into slumber. I once heard that your mind takes into your dreams whatever it was that you saw and heard 45 minutes before you went to sleep.

What is it that you did last night 45min before sleep?
Did you calmly and gently bring joy into your mind and throughout your body or were you still on the computer hashing out the final touches to your corporate proposal? Did you talk for hours on the phone with friends and get your body all wound up or did you take a soothing bath or hot tub, read a good book or step outside to look at the moon?

No one succeeds when they burn out. No one reaches the finish line and stays on top by using up all of their resources of energy and spirit. Many successful business people have lost their health and their businesses because they did too much - too fast, and did not give back to themselves and their inner spirit.

As wave riders we know that being able to maintain balance is paramount to our survival, yet as soon as we begin to master our energy cycles we forget again.

We read the book and practice the steps, we begin making our decisions on the middle area of the cycle, and so we begin to see that achieving our goals is possible. We see our lives changing before us. We see light in what was a dark world. We see that we are no longer victims of our past habits. We have learned to flow with the river allowing universal support and yet, this new hope creates an atmosphere that triggers our desire to control how we reach the destination. We begin to race toward the finish line; staying up later to work more or taking on more clients. By wanting to speed up, we in fact retreat to our old habits and we begin to slow the new process of creation down. If we continue the process, we will end up not on the finish line but instead back, right where we had started.

Many of us have struggled for years in one way or another and as we begin to see relief in sight, we find that we can barely contain our enthusiasm and ourselves. Instead of maintaining the steady pace that has started to show us a better way, we push ourselves to get to the destination as fast as we possibly can.

Like walking out of the desert and seeing, in the distance, a pool of water; you see relief and you want it - NOW!. You stop pacing yourself and you run instead of walk toward the water. You burn out your remaining reserves and fall down in exhaustion only feet away from the refreshing depths waiting for you at the oasis.

You have read the book. You have taken the steps. You are beginning to master your energy waves and you are creating the whole you that supports your dreams. Now, remember to keep pacing. When you feel it working, do not stop abiding by your rules.
If you catch yourself running toward your goal and no longer satisfied with where you are on the path, realize that you are simply trying to rush forward and remind yourself that you arrived this close to your goal because of your pacing and your faith.

Let yourself know that the slow and steady journey is as important as reaching the end destination. Be at peace walking steadily toward the finish line enjoying each step in the process.

Yours in Faith,
Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Beyond the mind, around the heart, fill the soul.